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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Bonda..Bonda tau tak? Syair Ar rahman Bonda lagi hebat dari Syed Sadaqat Ali...


Semoga umur Bonda di panjangkan agar dapat kami terus nikmati suara dan kehadiran Bonda disisi, semoga Bonda sentiasa sihat ... Ya Allah Ya Rabbi..peliharalah Bonda kami ini seperti dia memelihara kami..kemampuan kami terbatas..hanya engkau yang mampu, memberi yang terbaik buat Bonda kami ini.


Perjalanan hidup Bonda penuh liku. Anak sulong perempuan di zaman penjajahan bukanlah satu kemegahan kepada tuan empunya badan. Kehilangan saudar, kematian di depan mata..menjadi sejarah hitam dalam hidup Bonda. Mereka tidak diajar cara mempertahankan diri, jika di Kawasan Sadong Jaya, Ilmu batin di guna..di Kpg Sungei Lajem ketika itu? tutup jalan laut, udara ada, tutup jalan udara, jalan darat ada..selain dari 'underground..lubang tanah, tilam di guna untuk menyembunyikan diri dari musuh dan itu juga yang meragut nyawa sepupu bonda, sekaligus , seluruh keluarga lenyap. Ada yang berkata serpihan anggota badan mereka bergelimpangan terkena bom Jepun. Satu memeori yang tak pernah luput dari ingatan Bonda sehingga ke hari ini. Tugas utama Bonda memasak air. Satu ketika..sedang Bonda pergi ke satu Telaga untuk mengambil 2 baldi air..tetiba desingan mesin gun meluru, pantas Bonda berlari menuju ke rumah yang berdekatan. Di bawah rumah itu ada tempat lubang bawah tanah, sekarang Bonda hanya mampu menunjuk lokasi itu tetapi tidak mampu untuk menceritakan segalanya. Anakmu tau perit untuk bercerita ..itu dulu dan kini ia menjadi sejarah dalam diri Bonda.


Bonda ..izin anak mu bercerita lagi..izinkan 'aku kembali' ya Bonda..


Beberapa bulan yang lepas ketika aku jauh beribu batu..aku menerima text dari seorang sahabat. Aku hormati sahabat ini kerana perjuangan. Aku imbas kembali ketika perjalanan sahabat ini ke sebuah kampung merentasi anak sungai. Ini saja yang ada..sebuah perahu dan anak sungai. Kampong ini jauh terpencil..3 jam dari Bandar Sri Aman dan mesti melalui Sungai..itu pun anak sungai yang sempit. Setibanya di satu selekoh..sahabat ini bersama 2 rakan nya tergamam, mahu menersukan perjalanan atau tidak ? ini adalah kerana tiada laluan bagi perahu sekecil itu untuk meneruskan sisa perjalanan. Satu batang pokok sebesar 3 pemeluk ( 3 orang ) melintang , menhalang perahu itu dari melintas. Sedangkan, perjalanan masih jauh. Kerana nekad dan niat walaupun tanpa peralatan yang cukup, mereka teruskan. Gerun aku mendengar cerita mereka..cuba bayangkan berjalan dalam kegelapan di waktu Maghrib demi untuk satu matlamat.Cerita itu juga membuat aku menilai erti persahabatan , erti pengorbanan, erti kerja sukarela.


Sahabat ini melontar satu cerita..cerita satu keluarga yang bergantung pada sampah sarap untuk menyara diri. Sahabat ini bukan bertujuan untuk menceritakan keburukan keluarga dan aku menghebohkan ini bukan untuk mengaibkan sesiapa. Memang tugas aku mungkin di dunia ini. Kemana saja aku pergi..dengan siapa saja aku berkhidmat..cerita sebegini mengejar aku. Aku pun sering tertanya mengapa aku ? Adakah aku patut mendiamkan diri mengengar berita atau cerita sebegini. dan kenapa sahabat aku juga mendapat berita sebegini ? Ya Allah ampuni lah dosa kami ..sessungguhnya engkau maha mengetahui. Sekarang cerita ini sudah menjadi satu berita, berita yang perlukan satu penyelesaian. Sebaik saja sahabat ini meletakkan noktah, aku menghubungi satu lagi sahabat. Terlalu jauh untuk aku menlangkah kaki ke lokasi keluarga ini. Di sini kita boleh mengukur sejauh mana kita bersahabat..




Friday, June 25, 2010

Bonda..... tepat jam 4.30 pagi anakmu di kejutkan dari mimpi..mimpi apa? Lupa lagi...ini semua berpunca dari si Kepala Ikan.


Subuh lagi Arwah ayah sudah melabohkan sampannya..masih terbayang ayah berseluar pendek berjalur biru memegang mata kail dan jala . Si kecil Hazik dan Iman mencucuk mulut si Ikan Sembilang hasil tangkapan ayah..sambil tersenyum ayah berkata ' jaga jaga nanti kena gigit..si kecil menjawab..ada gigikah?...Ayah dibesarkan di kawasan berhampiran sungai..maka, itu sebabnya sukar untuk ayah tinggal jauh dari sungai. Perahu atau Sampan teman ayah sebagai hobi..






DIA yang ENGKAU Cari…... catatan 5/2/07

Tahukah engkau ?
Dikala dibuai mimpi pagi,
DIA bermandikan embun yang mengigit jari
Mengejar mentari yang kian tinggi
Mengejar impian yang belum pasti
Mengejar janji sehidup semati

Namun engkau ? masih lagi bermimpi………………….

Tahukah engkau ?
Dikala berteman mata pena mu
DIA berbedakkan asap, bermandikan debu,
Menanti mu di muka pintu,
Menatap wajah mu yang pasti lesu
Memeluk mu tanpa jemu

Namun engkau ? Diam membisu………..

Tahukah engkau ?
Dikala dingin menyapa seru
DIA bertilamkan sejadah berbantal kitabmu
Menadah tangan memohon restu
Meratap jauh bersama sedu
Mencari engkau yang kian layu

Namun engkau ? Terus terpaku…

Dalam hidupmu, kehadirannya hanya sekali
Dalam dirimu, darahnya mengalir pasti
Namun engkau ? Terpaku berdiri menanti hari











Engkau tiba bersama harapan,







Berkat doa serta impian

Buat ENGKAU  yang bergelar ANAK, DIA bergelar IBU,bergelar AYAH..






Thursday, June 24, 2010



Salam buat mu Bonda, sungguh cuai anakmu,memang wajar anakmu ini dipersalahkan..bagaimana boleh lupa medical appointment Bonda? ishhh..


Bagaimana ini boleh berlaku?Anakmu ini perlukan kegelapan untuk melihat bintangkah?Anakmu ini perlukan air laut..untuk merasa keringnya tekak ke?


Inilah kami Bonda, yang bergelar anak. Alpa dalam dunia sendiri.


Si A dan B sibuk membina castle dari pasir pasir yang ada. Kedua duanya beriya iya biar pun hangat mentari terasa. Kulit mula mengupas namun..keasyikan adalah segalanya. Tetiba ombak deras hadir..mengibas segala yang ada..Si A dan B..tergamam seketika. Castle yang telah dibina..hampir 3 tingkat..satu persatu, kembali asal. Saling melihat diantara satu sama lain..menangislah..kata hati kecilku, menangislah..hampir 3 jam engkau berdua membina Castle itu, tak sampai 5 minit..ianya berkecai. Menangislah..aku ingin melihat engkau berdua menangis.. HAHAHAHA..tetiba keduanya bertepuk tangan. Hmmmm....




Kenapa mereka bertepuk tangan gembira? Si Kecil A dan B..tidak kenal erti keletihan,tidak kenal erti kepenatan. Kalau letih, bancuh susu, mulalah main cuping telinga terus tertidur, itulah telatah si Kecil..maka wajar bagi Si A dan Si B bertepuk tangan..mereka tak perlu castle itu..mereka telah sama membina, sama sama kehilangan..sama sama gembira. Tetapi seandainya si A dan Si B ini..orang dewasa, sepak terajanglah jawabnya. Nape ye Bonda? Apa kita perlu belajar dari si kecil A dan B?



Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Bonda !!,.anakmu di minta menjadi Wedding Planner...


Tugasan apa itu Bonda? November lepas..anakmu berjumpa Mak Andam. Wajahnya begitu familiar ..she reminds of those days... I admire her skills..yes, I never thought that it could become a career, honestly. Yes..I did have that dream..now I wonder what happened to all my dreams, vanished? Aduh, jauh sudah anakmu ini berlari rupanya..


Bonda..I do miss ' em all..I really am ,that I want to be  home


Keletihan , kelesuan..teringat akan kata kata sahabat. Biarkan dunia kejar kita, jangan kita kejar dunia. Terlalu sukar untuk anakmu meneruskan sisa perjalanan, tetiba terasa keresahan, terasa kekesalan..apa yang ingin anakmu cari Bonda..? 
Maafkan anakmu Bonda, seketika terasa kehilangan..terasa kehanyutan..


 I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.

I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.

You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.

I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.

For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.

Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?

It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.

I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.

It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.

Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?

Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?

Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?

Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.



'Engkau biar dirimu di jajah. Suara sumbang itu hadir lagi. Am a dreamer..drifter..





Let go..

Bonda..a lovely evening with a lovely smiles..


Life has kicked me around,sometimes it scares me and it beats me up..Do you know what  ..Bonda
I just realize I survived..15 years and yes......it made me feel strong..but will the strong last? He knows...


Bonda..I decided 


That I need to go into depth.After all..I used to be kicked around , another kick it may helped to shortened my journey..He knows..Keep Praying, after all those prayers is needed by all of us.


Bonda..


I am what I am now..I am not an advocate, I dont think I can be one but we all have duty. What we have learned we must share..freedom of speech..and respect. As some friend said, you are lucky, you find what you love doing..well, I must enjoys it to love it . Once in my life...there was a light and that light keep shining on me..with his love and yes I do agree that pain is gain, perjuangan itu pahit , namun syurga itu tetap manis.




Let me share you a story of NASIBA THE HERO OF UHUD BATTLE

The deep scar on the shoulder of Nasiba, daughter of Kaab, spoke of a major wound in the past. Whenever the women, especially of the younger generation who had not seen the time of the Prophet or were too small at that time, noticed the cavity in her shoulder, they enquired with extreme curiosity about the frightening incident, which had resulted in the injury to her shoulder. They loved to hear her adventures in the battle of Uhud from her own mouth.

She had never imagined that she would fight shoulder to shoulder with her husband and two sons defending the Prophet in the battle of Uhud. She had only taken the water-skin on her back so that she could provide water to the injured and also had taken some home-made bandages to dress their wounds. She had not thought of herself as worthy of any other work on that day.

Although the Muslims were small in number and had only a limited supply of equipment's, they gave a grand defeat to the enemy who took to their heels vacating the battlefield. But soon after, due to the negligence of some men guarding the "Ainain Hills", the enemy made a surprise attack from the rear, turning the victory of the Muslims into defeat. The Muslims surrounding the Prophet fled away, leaving him almost alone in the battlefield.

When Nasiba saw this precarious situation, she put the water-skin on the ground, and took a sword in her hand. She fought with the sword and also made good use of bows and arrows; and took a shield left over by a fleeing soldier. Once she noticed a man shouting: "Where is Mohammed himself?" She approached him immediately and inflicted a few blows on him; but he was double-armored and her attacks had not much effect on him. He then inflicted such a heavy blow on the shoulder of the armor less woman that it required treatment for one year. Noticing a stream of blood gushing from her shoulder, the Prophet called to one of her sons to immediately dress her wound. He put a bandage over her shoulder and she again got busy in the battle.

Meanwhile one of her sons got injured. She took out a bandage and dressed his wound. The Prophet watching the scene smiled at the heroism of this woman. After dressing her son's wound she instructed him to get going for the battle. These words were still in her mouth when the Prophet pointed out a man to her and told her that he was the same man who had injured your son. She attacked the man like a lioness and inflicted her sword on his leg. He fell on the ground. The Prophet said, "Well, thou hast taken thy revenge. Thanks for God who gave the victory on him and made thy eyes cool."

Many Muslims were martyred and wounded. She herself was severely wounded and there was no hope of her life. After the battle of Uhud, the Prophet ordered the wounded Muslims to persue the enemy unto Hamra-ul-Asad, to be sure of their intention and condition. Nasiba also wanted to accompany them but the deep injuries did not allow her to do so. On returning from Hamra-ul-Asad, the Prophet before reaching his house sent someone to enquire about her health and was pleased to learn that she was alive.

How I wish I can be like her..wish..wish..